Friday, January 31, 2014

Dear Matilda Mae

It is almost a year since you laid your little head to rest for the last time. At the same time my own little boy was doing the same. Surrounded by blankets, cuddly toys and without me checking on him for fear of waking him up. How so much has changed.

Because of you I am more careful. Because of you I am more grateful. Because of you I always say goodnight, just in case it may be our last.

If your tragic death has taught me one thing it is to cherish what we have. I am going through some tough times and maybe don't always remember this, but when I do my babies are held tighter and kissed more tenderly. Because you reminded me how short life is.

On the day myself and so many others found out about your loss, I was in disbelief. How could it be that only the day before your mummy had been playing with you, laughing with you and enjoying you and the next you be gone? I cried a lot over the next few days and weeks, and knew I had to do something. The flower release was my little way of celebrating your life and letting your mummy know I was thinking of her.

Since then your memory has spread to the skies and back. Your life has not been in earnest and you will never be forgotten. You have begun an incredible journey for so many and in your memory money has been raised that will hopefully help to put an end to a cause of death that breaks so many hearts and lives.

And whilst you may be gone, you are always around in our thoughts. When the skies turn red, I think of you. When the children blow bubbles I think of you. When I light a candle at night I think of you. And when I tuck in my children and kiss them goodnight I think of your mummy and send her strength. She is amazing - you would be so proud.

If I could say one thing to you, darling Matilda, it would be thank you. Sleep well, angel.


Letters for Matilda Mae

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